Pal, remember when I said you should write for Sports Illustrated? I take it back. You should write for Rolling Stone. You shine so bright when bestowing your musical wisdom upon us, whether it’s your tribute to Yes’ Fragile, or your evisceration of Phil Spector and what he did to Let it Be. I used to be a fan of Spector’s Wall of Sound. But now I hate him. I hate him so much. All because of you.
Now, you will recall my last blog post promised that my next blog post would be more positive and life affirming. Well, after reading two stories in the newspaper I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. But I thought about it some more and realized that these things I read – things that initially caused me to despair – just needed to be looked at in the proper light. So I re-evaluated my position and it’s all good. In fact, it’s wonderful. These are two wonderful, wonderful things.
I’m not being sarcastic. Not at all. Not one little bit.
The first wonderful thing concerns Justin Bieber. Hero. Philosopher. Genius. Did you hear about the comment he left behind after visiting the Anne Frank Museum? This: “Anne was a great girl, hopefully she would have been a Belieber.”
Well said, Justin. Bang on. I remember when I first read Anne Frank’s wretched story, and learned of all the atrocities of the holocaust, my first thought was also, “yes, but would she have liked me?” It’s the natural response. We all go through it.
In the case of his Royal Biebness, it’s actually a deeply stirring realization. If only Justin had been around during the holocaust, imagine the suffering that could have been avoided. Hiding in attics. Living in terror. Friends and families turning on one another. Torture. Rape. Starvation. Unspeakable abuse and “scientific experiments”. Gas chambers and mass graves. If only (if only!) those poor folks could have had the opportunity to hear the sweet, sweet refrain of Justin caterwauling “baby, baby, baby, oh!” over and over and over and over and over again – everything would have been OK.
I have occasionally thought that child stars should employ, as part of their entourages, a Realist. To keep them grounded. With all those publicists, agents and managers stroking their egos all day long, if they just had one person always at their side saying things like:
- You do realize your fame far outweighs your talent, right?
- Have you thought about what you’re going to do when your fans turn 12 and outgrow you?
- No, you should not build a roller coaster in your backyard. You’re going to be washed up in a year – buy a friggin’ mutual fund, asshole!
- Yes, you are acting like a douche.
I don’t know why I’m bringing this up now. If there’s one guy that doesn’t need such a thing, it’s Justin Bieber. That boy’s got it all figured out.
So that’s one wonderful thing. Here’s another:
Advancements in HR
Have you heard where modeling agencies in Sweden are now searching for their new batch of talent? Go ahead and guess.
If you said outside eating disorder clinics, you win a prize!
Isn’t that awesome? Brilliant, really. Usually, modeling agencies need to invest considerable time and money brainwashing teenaged girls into having a demented body image and low self-esteem. Why bother? Just scoop the poor, skeletal waifs off the stoop of the clinic and whisk them off to a life of glamour and fame. The gals are already in the right frame of mind. Ready-made stars! They just need a little validation, is all.
I always appreciate smart business decisions, and this shows real ingenuity in HR recruitment. Here’s hoping other businesses adopt the same level of innovation. Take note, Molson and Canadian Club – there are AA meetings every night in every town. Consider them job fairs.
A Genuinely Wonderful Thing
OK, enough of the sarcasm. I have a genuinely wonderful thing to report, too.
Back in January I declared Cabin in the Woods my movie of the year. I noted it was a place holder. There was still much I needed to see. Well I’m ready to declare my real movie of 2012 – Searching for Sugar Man.
It’s a documentary about singer/songwriter Rodriguez, who made two marvelous albums in the early 1970s, then faded into obscurity. Except in South Africa, where he became a legend. The movie tells the story of two fans who set out to find him. It’s awesome and beautiful and made me want to be a better person. The music is perfect, the cityscapes are gorgeous, and it contains a scene so full of love and wonderment and connectedness it’s hard to believe it actually happened. I know you know all about this, Pal. The message is for everyone else – watch this movie! In the meantime, listen to “Cause”. When he says, “cause the sweetest kiss I ever got is the one I’ve never tasted” it’s Ok to cry:
Complete. Sorry it took so long to post, Pal. That job thing keeps getting in the way.